21 ways tobecome a positive, confident person
People who are happy have fewer strokes, heart attacks, and even colds, according to U.S. News and World Report. Happier people also live longer than negative people. But positive people aren't necessarily born that way. Abraham Lincoln famously said, "People are just as happy as they make up their minds to be." Can it really be that simple? Yes, with a few helpful steps along the way.
Create a secret, internal "positive password"
When you feelyourself being judgmental, unnecessarily irritated, or extra blue, create yourown little ritual to ｃounteract things. Say something to yourself thatwill take your mind off its downward path. I have a friend who says"Taylor Swift" to herself because she loves Swift's music and can'tbe angry when she thinks about her. If you're religious, it could be a piece ofa prayer, or it could be as simple as silently chanting "om."Interrupting the negative pattern with even a small action that has positiveconnotations can stop negativity in its tracks.
When in doubt, smile
A 2012 study atthe University of Kansas demonstrated that the very act of smiling can bebeneficial, lowering the heart rate after a stressful episode, and raising thelevels of endorphins in your body. That's a pretty powerful tool you have,right there on your face! Try it the next time you're stuck and frustrated intraffic. Smile and see if you don't actually feel better.
Take a tip from the wisdom of A.A.
AlcoholicsAnonymous tells its newest members: "Fake it till you make it." Inother words, act like you are sober, and pretty soon you will actually startfeeling that it is the right way to go. It's a great motto that can help youovercome feeling sour, suspicious, cynical, or downbeat. If just for today youact like someone with a positive attitude, assume good intent on the part ofpeople you interact with, and act excited to get out and face the day, you willbe amazed at two things: how enthusiastically people will respond, and how easyit will be over time to really become that positive person.
Join Toastmasters
Your localbranch of Toastmasters is a great place to cultivate a lot of great new habitsand attitudes, including curing yourself of can't-do notions, like thinkingyou're afraid of public speaking. Attending Toastmasters workshops will alsohelp open your mind to new ways of looking at things as you listen to yourfellow speakers make their cases on different topics. You'll encourage yourfellow speakers and in turn, they will be there to support you. More and moreyoung people are discovering the benefits of joining Toastmasters, and you maybe pleasantly surprised — as well as more upbeat and confident — at how muchyou get out of it.
Prune your negative friends
You might evenwant to make a list of those so-called friends who are negative and critical,and then slowly eliminate them from your life. You don't need to un-friend themon Facebook, but rather block their complaining posts. Then make a concertedeffort to cultivate your positive friendships, and through them, meet moreupbeat people to include in your circles. Misery loves company, but so doeshappiness.
Volunteer
Sometimes, youjust need to get out of your own sorry head to get a perspective on yourproblems. Volunteer at a homeless shelter, a soup kitchen or a ｄrop-in centerfor homeless teens. Not only will you gradually see your own problems shrink incomparison to those of others, but your interaction with people who trulyappreciate what you are doing will give you a great boost, too. You may findyou look forward to this activity more than most others in your week. That willtruly lift your spirits.
Take a "Laughter Yoga" class
Created in the1990s by Dr. Madan Kataria of Mumbai, India, Laughter Yoga is a true yogicpractice that focuses on laughing for no reason. If that sounds silly, well itis. And yet its practitioners swear by the delicious relief they feel afterattending even one class, which is part meditation and part laughter chorus.Oprah Winfrey has tried it and loved it so have thousands of others. See ifthere are classes in your area and try one. What have you got to lose exceptyour sadness?
Reconnect with an old friend
It is really aseasy as picking up the phone or ｄropping an "I've been thinking aboutyou" email. Maybe her birthday is coming up and you can invite her tolunch. Or extend the olive branch to an estranged relative. Reconnectingwith loved ones is one of the key things that keep our hearts and souls happy.
Get your Vitamin D level checked
Getting enoughVitamin D, especially in the dark of winter, is crucial to your physical andmental health. Study after study has shown that low Vitamin D levels can causemild depression-like symptoms. If your levels are low, take extra Vitamin D aswell as omega-3 fatty acid supplements to boost your levels. Most people noticefeeling better in a vague, but perceptible way in only a few weeks of gettingenough of the nutrients.
Listen up
Ask questions.Sometimes getting another perspective is as easy as staying quiet long enoughto draw someone else out. The other person will be grateful you cared enough topay attention, and you will be guaranteed to learn something. And staying quietmore often helps you better choose what you want to say. When what you say isthought out, you're more likely to not whine, complain, or kvetch.
Plan a power walk or run with a friend
This isespecially effective with a friend you haven't caught up with for a while. Talkabout a great two-fer! You will get your exercise and solidify more intimateconnections that will simply make you happier. Better yet, making it a standingdate every week or two. Vary your location and the difficulty of your route,but your priority should be a good, meaningful catch-up.
Don't be SAD, be glad
If you live inthe northern part of the ｃountry or another region that don't get much sunlightin the winter, you may suffer from Seasonal affective disorder (SAD), which isrelated to reduced exposure to full-spectrum sunlight and which may also betied to reduced levels of Vitamin D. Happily, there are many sizes, types, andstyles of SAD lights that you can use at work or home. With just a few hours ofexposure a day, many people who traditionally feel gloomy in the winter, reportthat being exposed to this light therapy improves their moodsignificantly.
Get a pet
Dogs aren'tcalled man's (or woman's) best friend for nothing. Or if you need a snugglerthat's lower-maintenance, cats are fantastic pets, too. You'll getunconditional love and studies have shown that mental acuity is improved andblood pressure goes down when pet owners stroke their critters. Not only that,needing to care for someone other than yourself is another great way to setaside your own downbeat mood at least a few times a day. If you can't have apet, consider volunteering a day a week at an animal shelter. See if your badmood can withstand those wagging tails. We bet not.
Try the "rubber-band" solution
Slip a rubberband (or cute elastic bracelet if you prefer) around your wrist. When you feelthose negative, crabby thoughts creeping in, give yourself a little snap. Itwill help you build awareness about what triggers those thoughts. Does ithappen during meetings? In the morning when you're trying to sort out yourtasks for the day? In traffic? Once you can start to pinpoint what activatesthose feelings, you can adjust your schedule and task list according. And thatlittle snap helps distract you just long enough to focus on somethingelse.
Indulge in some comfort food
OK, it doesn'thave to be an entire cheesecake or full pan of lasagna. That would only makeyou feel worse tomorrow. But it's called comfort food for a reason. So tonight,make some homemade macaroni and cheese from scratch. Put together a rich slowcooker beef stew. Get your kids to help you make pizza from scratch, includingthe dough. Or learn how to make whoopee pies. Then invite friends over to savorevery bite.
Eliminate negative words from your vocabulary.
Notice when yousay words like "can't, never, won't" and especially"should." Articulate what you want and practice saying "Ichoose" or "I want" instead. It doesn't mean you will always (oreven mostly) get what you want, but it does mean you are more likely to achieveyour goals, step by step, than if you shut yourself down from the beginning.Best of all, you and the people around you, will start to notice thedifference. Don't be too surprised when things really do start to go your way.
Do something you've always wanted to do
When you investin yourself, you will feel positive. Period. If you've always wanted to take apainting class, redecorate your living room, find 10 great hikes in your cityor town, well, when is a better time than right now? You can also startplanning some of your favorite bucket-list ideas for vacation or for betterweather times, so you always have something really awesome to look forward to.Skydive, ride a zip line, learn to paddleboard, take that trip to the GalapagosIslands. See, don't you feel better?
Turn off the TV and computer
No, notforever. But try to halve the time you spend watching TV or in non-work relatedcomputer activity during evenings and weekends. This yields a lot of bonuses:More free time to interact with friends and family, more opportunity to be upand moving around (which is guaranteed to make you feel better), and most ofall, it will help you break out of your rut. Reducing your exposure tosome of the zillions of negative posts on Facebook is definitely a plus. Let'sface it: life is best lived in real-life.
Buy a self-help book
Now don't rollyour eyes. They're called self-help books for a reason. Many titles really dohave smart guidance and thought-provoking content that might help you changeyour outlook. Consider "The Four Agreements" or "The HappinessProject." Or go to a real old-fashioned book store and browse that section— pick up as many titles as you like to check them out before you buy. Openyour mind, and see what clicks. Don't forget to read the book.
Be cool
You can'tcontrol how other people will behave — and some will behave terribly. They'llcut you off in traffic, interrupt you in conversation, or worse. But alwaysremember: You are the boss of you. If you can take a deep breath and think,"Wow, that person must be having a really bad day," you'll instantly feelcalmer. More importantly, you won't make a bad situation worse, or validate itby giving it life beyond the few seconds it which it happened. See? Back tonormal, no real harm done.
Start a gratitude journal
Take the timeto write down the simple joys in your life. No joy is too small to be noticed.A walk in a quiet forest, the crumpled dollar bill you found on the sidewalk,the sweet phone call from your eight-year-old niece, the way you played drumson your steering wheel when your favorite oldie came on the radio … Make apoint to notice the small (and big) things that make you happy and then writethem down. Bonus: When you read over them again later — you'll be happy allover again.
Article Source:http://www.msn.com/en-in/health/wellness/21-ways-to-become-a-positive-confident-person/ss-BBqgLnP#image=1
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VOCABULARY WORDS:
1. Counteract (v.) ~ act against (something) in order to reduce its force or neutralize it
2. Prune (v.) ~ to remove (anything undesirable or superfluous) from something
3. Extend an olive branch (idiom) ~ to make an offer of peace or to approach a foe in the spirit of conciliation
4. Kvetch (n./ informal) ~ a person who complains a great deal
5. Rut (n.) ~ a habit or pattern of behavior that has become dull and unproductive but is hard to change
QUESTIONS FOR DISCUSSION:
1. Do you consider yourself to be positive and confident? If yes, how did you become positive and confident? If no, what are the factors that stop you from becoming one?
2. “Fake it till you make it.” What does it mean? Do you agree with this statement? Discuss your answer.
3. What is something that you have always wanted to do but haven’t tried still? Explain how you can finally be successful in doing this.
Give some small things that you are thankful for that have occurred since you woke up this morning until this moment.
